I wasn't in a place where I had internet yesterday so I wasn't able to post so here are 3 more progress pics on my drawing, I wanted to include a skull like the Kuksi drawing does, so I chose a turtle. For this drawing the turtles traditionally are a symbol of long life because they live for so long, so I chose to use a turtle to represent endurance, or more finely put, enduring to the end. It's a personal challenge that I have accepted to be connected to God and to endure my life well until the end. I was originally going to go with a more curling filigree motif for this but I decided that I had enough of that going on in the filigree wave so I decided to go the direction of Maori face paint, which was definitely the right choice. I love the way the turtle turned out for this one. Incidentally, the Fleur de Lis is significant in many cultures as a representation for such things as Royalty and the Holy Trinity. I used it here as a representation of both, I believe that we are all children of God, and who is more royal than God? AND endurance in this life can only be achieved if we are connected to a higher power, for me this is my Heavenly Father, his son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. So the Fleur de Lis is a very fitting symbol for this part of the drawing. Incidentally, most of my art has deeper meaning like this, not all of it quite so deep, but I often include symbolism because for me, I want my art to have a message, should the viewer be willing to engage my work on a deeper level.

I've always loved candles, especially drippy ones, and I am really intrigued with the idea that a flame can be a fish. For me there is a lot of meaning in the metaphor. I really wanted to capture the "glow" in this, the fish is the source of light for the entire drawing, so it has to be the brightest image on the artwork.

Here is the next stage of the drawing, I added the dark background and started in on the light charcoal look. Remember, this is digital, completely drawn on my iPad Pro with the drawing stylus which as to be one of God's greatest gifts to artists who like to work in digital format, other than the smooth drawing surface which I have adapted to, and the angle of the stylus not perfectly mimicking a good old real pencil, (which I have also adapted to) this iPad and stylus is the closest electronic equivalent to the real thing out there, and I love it.

I wanted to have the ship riding a filigree wave on the turtle's back so here is my personal interpretation of a filigree wave and water droplets. I will experiment with both soft curves and harder angles in this painting, which plays on the dichotomy of Male and Female strengths, that both contrast and compliment each other. (in other words, curls for girls and hard edges and angles for boys, and yet they work together beautifully, just like in a successful marriage).

Endurance, Mastery and Light, are the themes I am working with for this new piece I have been working on while I have been traveling here in China. All three themes are very dear to me as I have been on this journey of recovery from the things I have been through over the last few years. The Ship is Mastery, (reference Invictus poem) The candle light and knowledge that I have received from God, and the turtle, endurance with the idea of enduring to the end of my life, and enduring it well, discovering the man that I want to be and the man that God wants me to be and joining the 2 together. The style inspiration for this new piece is from this white charcoal drawing by Kris Kuski, I want to put lots of detail into this piece. I'm drawing it on my iPad and I will try to update this post every day with progress shots.

RIP Chester Bennington 2017

I was down in Phoenix AZ for my grandmother's funeral when I got a call from my oldest son asking me if I had heard the news, "Chester Bennington is dead!" He committed suicide this morning (my grandmother's funeral was July 20th). I listened to my son as he talked about it, and I grieved with him because I liked Linkin Park, have for a long time now. Numb has been a staple in my list of go-to emo songs when I am feeling down, but Chester Bennington dead? and to suicide no less? What is this world coming to, there are so many suicides, SO MANY SUICIDES! And I know, because I had a friend commit suicide, and I have gone through a lot of depression through my divorce and choices I made leading up to the divorce. I felt like dying many times, I contemplated what it would be like to  kill myself, and ultimately, because of my friend and my faith in God, decided that, for me, suicide would be cop out. Suicide is easy, one act and you are done, facing life and living is hard, it requires a thousand acts every day, and learning the balance between my spirit and my body. Keeping that balance is hard, and I have to work at it every day. I have so many thoughts and feelings about this, I am really glad that I got to go to Vegas with my son to see Linkin' Park in concert, I considered asking him if he would go to the concert when they come to Utah, I'm glad that I didn't, because there will never be another concert to go to. I don't know what the future holds for Linkin Park, but I'm betting that it looks a lot different now considering the major roles Chester played. I love his music, I love the thought and meaning that he puts into is lyrics, music and videos. I wish he had not killed himself. It is an interesting difference between how the death of my grandmother and Chester feels. Her funeral was a celebration of a life well lived, of a strong woman who endured, and believe me she endured a lot. Chester's death feels tragic and very sad, a light snuffed out of his own will way too soon. This photo is my tribute to Chester, his new song, One More Light keeps playing in my head over and over again as I try to reconcile the reason for his or any suicide, what purpose it plays in the grand scheme of things. I considered for a long time how to paint it, in the end I did this montage of drawings and a photo of him I found online. Even though I never knew you personally, I will miss you thank you for all you have given me through your music and the chance to spend a great weekend with my son going to your concert. Who cares if one more light goes out?...well, I do!