The subject of a personal faith crisis has come up 3 times for me in the last 24 hours. The idea that sometimes God tests us by leaving us to stand alone for a period of time to choose to endure, or not to endure without him is so profound. I personally believe that He knows, in his infinite wisdom, that each one of us needs to know on a very deep level whether we will be faithful to Him. He already knows what I will choose, he knows me better than I know myself, I am His son, he knew me personally before the foundation of this world. He knows my strengths, and He knows my weaknesses, but I don't know all of them, and He teaches me through hard experiences. There have been profound moments, seemingly long periods of darkness, in my life where I have felt utterly alone. I have made mistakes, I have not always chosen the best paths, and in doing so I have distanced myself from God, and those times have been dark, and there have been times where it seems that God has stepped back and distanced himself from me, even when I am striving with all that I know how to do to approach Him. It's during these times that I have to reach down deeper than I ever have before and look for Him. He does not always immediately respond, and I have thought at times about how easy it would be to choose to do what my selfish carnal mind wants me to do. AND I also realize that I can choose in that moment to be faithful, even if I don't "feel like it". I also realize that those are the true defining moments of my life, when I learn that I myself can and do choose to be faithful even when I don't feel it, that I can be true to what I know and believe even when I don't really feel the presence of God in my life. Those are the moments when my personal choices really matter, when I show my Heavenly Father that I am willing to stand up and be counted. It's easy to be "true and faithful" when God is making himself known, but the moments when He is withdrawn, when I have to stand on my own and make a decision which way I will go, those moments teach me that God really does keep His word that we can choose for ourselves. That happiness is mine to choose, and that my weaknesses can be made strong, yes, my weaknesses are ultimately what will help me to return to live with Him, because they teach me the most about myself, and I can rely on God to help me make them strong, thus bringing me closer to Him. This article about Micheal McLean is really good, wherein he talks about his own 9 year struggle and faith crisis:
http://www.ldsliving.com/Michael-McLean-Opens-Up-About-His-9-Year-Faith-Crisis-and-How-He-Found-His-Testimony-Again/s/83606
